‘You refuse to have a village’: Overbearing Mother Refuses to Step Away From Her Kids for a Moment, Resulting in Getting Served Divorce Papers and Her Family Turning From Her

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 24, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. Parenting is a handful. It's never been an easy job, and ideally, it would never be a job that only one person bears the full responsibility of. Back in the day, people were a part of communities. In these communities, they could rely on others to watch their children, other women and grandparents. Nowadays, there's a lot (maybe too much) pride in what it means to be a 'mom.' Moms are supposed to be seen as superheroes, as people whose purpose is to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. Although some women still have this idea about motherhood, it's not historically accurate, nor is it realistic. Mother's are people too. They have needs, wants, desires, and identities outside of their attachment and love for their children. Some people take it too far though…see just how far this woman takes it in the Reddit thread below. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH ⚫ 9 hr. ago Feeling-Falcon-7407 Aita for telling my sister its her fault that shes getting divorced and has no friends?
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 02
    I (23F) have a sister (28) who has two kids and is going through a divorce. Before my sister had kids she was the funnest and smartest person around. She had hobbies, took classes every week to learn new skills, and had a close friend group shes maintained until recently that shes had since middle school. I looked up and admired her so much. But she
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 03
    hasnt been that way in years. Ever since shes had kids she become a personality-less blob. She got married at 21 and they had their kids at 24 and 25. Marriage isnt what had changed her, before the kids she was still her fun and eccentric self.
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 04
    After she had her first child she stayed at home for six months and then returned to her job as an art teacher at a country club where she made amazing money and could choose her own hours. She quit after a class saying she couldnt bare to be away from her baby. Whenever my other sisters and parents would offer to watch
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 05
    the baby so my sister and her husband could go on date nights, she refuses saying no one can take care of the baby like her. She then got pregnant again (on purpose she wanted them a year apart). Im not joking when I say she hasnt left the house to do anything without her babies. She cancelled on every plan her friends (who by the way, half are
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 06
    moms) made for the past two and and a half years and then got shocked they no longer talk to her. She gets upset her husband still has friends and hobbies outside of being a dad yet when shes offered the same leisure she declines.
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 07
    She let herself go physically, she will brag about not showering for days but her "kids will aways look good". Only posts and reposts stuff about being a mom. She brags about not having a life outside of being a mom. She brags about never missing an hour with her kids. She looks down on women who are moms that go out and have fun. Shes
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 08
    missed all of our family birthdays, and events if she cant bring her kids with her. It sucks to see my sister become this. I never saw HER of all people letting being a mom become their whole identity and personality. I get it, its a major life change and she wont be the same person she was before kids. But having no hobbies, no friends, and ignoring
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 09
    your husband just because youre a mom isnt normal. We've spoken to her so often about this, she just says that this is her new self and if we dont like it, to get over it.
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 10
    Her husband filed for divorce a month ago and I think that was my sisters reality check. When she called us in a FT groupchat crying, we all just looked at each other and made a face like "be so for real", our parents included. She told us that he wants a divorce because he wants his old wife back and that shes changed for the worst instead of the
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 11
    better. And that he should be grateful she dedicates her whole life to her kids since other moms would pester the dads to be more involved. Our dad spoke up and asked her whens the last time they went on a date or put their marriage first. She said that theyre parents now so their kids come first and that is no longer important. We all disagreed and
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 12
    said that just because shes a mom doesnt mean her other relationship dynamics dont matter. My mom offered to watch the kids for the weekend so maybe they could have a moment alone and she got VERY upset saying that she would never leave her kids with someone else just so she can have fun and hung up.
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 13
    A few days ago my sister asked me to come over and bring her groceries since her car tire was flat. I came inside and we talked about life as her kids napped. She kept talking about the kids, what they did today and yesterday and blah blah. I asked her about the divorce and how she feels and she said that he wants 50/50 custody and no way thats
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 14
    happening since shes never spent a second away from her kids and that she wants our parents to pay for the best divorce lawyer to ensure she gets full custody. I said "You mean the parents youve never allowed to babysit your kids?" She got upset and said that doesnt matter. I told her it does, shes refused to allow herself to have a village that so many moms
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 15
    would want and looks at other women that will let someone babysit their kids as a "bad mom". She said its called being a good mom and I said no, making your entire personality being a mom doesnt make you a good mom and that she wouldnt be having a divorce if she was a better wife, she wouldnt be friendless if she was a better
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 16
    friend, and her family wouldnt be distant if she was a better sister/daughter. She started crying and I felt bad and left. All my siblings and parents are on my side saying its the truth she needed to hear. She hasnt talked to me since. AITA?
    via u/Feeling-Falcon-7407
  • 17
    somethingstrange... • 9h ago NTA and the reality is she's not going to get full custody. Even if she gets primary custody the dad will get visitation and she'll be forced to have time seperate from her kids. This might be for the best really.
    via u/somethingstrange
  • 18
    cryssylee90 7h ago NTA but honestly the instant personality shift makes me wonder how much mental illness come into play.
    via u/cryssylee90
  • 19
    I was your sister once. Never let my kids out of my sight, never did anything without my kids, became a WAHM so I didn't have to send them to daycare, etc.
    via u/cryssylee90
  • 20
    Everyone thought I was a helicopter mom. In reality I had raging untreated anxiety and depression that was exacerbated with PPD/PPA and I would have a literal breakdown if I couldn't check on my kids 24/7.
    via u/cryssylee90
  • 21
    Treatment saved my marriage and my life. But unfortunately, you also can't force her to seek treatment if it is an anxiety issue. It wasn't until I ended up having intense dark thoughts about ending my own life that I acknowledged the problem.
    via u/cryssylee90
  • 22
    TwoBionicknees • 8h ago NTA> You need to tell her she needs to talk to a therapist. She also needs to read a book on mothers who dedicate and make their entire lives about their kids, every helicopter mother who suffocates teh _ out of their children
    via u/TwoBionicknees
  • 23
    growing up. Most of those children end up at teh extremes, either nearly incapable of functioning without her help because she never allows them independance, or the kids who leave at 18 and never come back. What does she think happens after her kids
    via u/TwoBionicknees
  • 24
    are grown, she's going to be 20 years older, alienated all her family, all her friends, any partners she manages to get and obviously her husband. She'll have no one and nothing and it will to some degree, be too late.
    via u/TwoBionicknees

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family drama drama mother relationships parenting lol divorce love family sister reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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